Stare into the Sun

This is the boy
Who was born out of pain
And rejected his humanity
To build a wall around his soul,
And his eyes were
Both fire and ice
Betraying every feeling
He ever felt.

Now the oceans quake
With the longing that he feels
To look into someone else’s eyes
And see the same misery
That has so bound him
To this terrorized life of
Emotions
That keep him sleepless
Most nights.

Walking the road less traveled,
Stopping in to worship
At churches and bars,
Speaking,
‘This is the seed of your destruction.
Swallow it and let it bloom
Into a flower of pity
Because when the tide rises
I’m not the one who’ll build
The boat of your salvation.’

Silent as the city sleeps
As he keeps afloat
On the waves
Of cocaine dreams and ecstasy.
It’s only a tiny room
But it’s the one
He likes to call home.

‘If I could have you tonight
Would the bile in my stomach
Cease to burn?
What is so resolutely
Present in your presence
That could make me believe
In the fallacy
Of my own fate?’

This is the boy
Who grew up
To be the man
Blinded by the world’s design
And his inability to fit
Himself within the network,
Which kept him from seeing
The exit door
Leading up to the heavens
Where the air is too thin
To hold heavy thoughts
And a state of emptiness
Could give him rest.